very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
