May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
