yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
