Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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