maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
