She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
