just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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