what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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