I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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