I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
