Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
