Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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