Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You ruined the universe
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