Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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