Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
