he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
