big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
