I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just cropdusted the office
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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