I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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