You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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