I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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