He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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