I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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