I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize