Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
