Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
