that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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