AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
