i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
