Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
