You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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