how can u be prego again
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
