i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
