ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
