new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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