On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
