I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
