Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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