I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
