i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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