So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
