Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
