I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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