im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
