Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
