There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
