it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
