OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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