And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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