MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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