This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
