??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
