omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
